Introduction to White Girl

02Sep09

I was 17 and at least pretended to be innocent. I’d been going out nearly every weekend and staying at a friends house. The friend was Jamal, and he was fairly pathetic, but he had shitty parents and a nice house. It’s not that he was a bad guy, he was actually very friendly, but thats what made him pathetic. He was helpless without the company of others. He often lie about situations to persuede people to visit him, and it made my small group of friends very skeptical of him at all times. Normally we’d go to drink and smoke a little, occasionally Mike And Jim would do some XTC. It’s not my drug though, so I’d usually sideline it. I don’t like drugs with hangovers.

This time, Jim and Icame early, and along with Jamal were MaTT and Bella. MaTT’s cool, I like him a lot, and we were pretty close. He had shit luck as far as life was concerned, but he was always happy and never let all the shit he had to put up with bother him. The only thing he did do was talk about how much of a whore his sister was. Evidently she was a pretty whore-ish whore. I was happy to see him. Bella on the other hand, I was apathetic about. Her and Donna (Who I mentioned last time) were pretty close, and I’m sure she knew about the little fling Donna and I had. Because of that I got a bothersome feeling of angst whenever she’d look at me mysteriously.

More on Bella, she was around 5’4″ and had bright red hair. She had some kind of ugly piercing, lip I think, and was not a particularly nice sight. It was a tragedy really, because her fairly shapely body, was disgustingly offset by her enormously wide head. Anyway, she’d never done anything against me, so I had no problem.

It came up pretty quickly that she had a nasty cocaine habit. It was funded by her mostly absent parents who’d shower her with money. She had just started using, but could already be classified as a fiend. It didn’t matter though, she was cool, and we were friendly. After some monotony at Jamal’s, we eventually made our way to Bella’s. It was a mundane apartment in a fairly sleazy neighborhood, but no-one could complain. She was about the 9th story, and the climb was a bitch, not for MaTT though, who decided to go all the way up without touching a single step. He weaved between the rails, climbing each floor adeptly. All in all it was crazy shit.

Before we’d even thought of going there though, Bella’s crazy Ex boyfriend had been calling her and she’d been ignoring it. This will come into play later. Anyway, we get to the top and go in, it’s pretty nice, and had a somewhat homey feel, although it also gave off the vibe of heavy substance abuse, namely tobacco and alcohol. Nothing was apparent, but it had the atmosphere of a bar, dim and yellow. We immediatly ventured to Bella’s room, which was much brighter, but not nicer. The carpet looked like dirty astroturf, and there was a dirty martess leaning on the wall, that had probably bourne witness to unspeakable acts. Bella lit up a cigarette and we talked for a while, mostly about nothing, but it shifted rapidly between drugs, people, music, and obscenity.

Speaking of obscenity, after about half an hour MaTT got bored, and requested my help. He took both my hands, and wrapped them around his neck. He said he’s tap my hands, when he wanted me to stop. I squeezed until his eyes just barely rolled back into his head and he started tapping. Everyone knew that MaTT was a little odd, and this was nothing but mild fun, so it continued for another forty five minutes. It started with hands, but quickly moved to a belt, and eventually we tied a noose to get the full effect. A allowed him to suffocate me a few times also, never one to avoid a new experience. I can’t say I didn’t totally dislike it either, as the onset of hypoxia is truly a rush.

Anyway, we setteled down, and MaTT started thumbing a small gold chain. Bella was now showing off her collection of spare coke baggies, probably 10, all empty. Jamal had taken the chain from MaTT and started heating it up with a lighter. MaTT said do it, so Jamal lowered the red hot metal onto MaTT’s hand. MaTT yelped, but Jamal refused to move it off. Everyone was shocked as the skin on MaTT’s had sizzled, and he finally got it off when he punched Jamal. The chain had left a greusome figure-8 on his hand. Jamal protested, saying he thought MaTT liked it, but everyone knew he’d taken it too far. It didn’t matter though, we weren’t ones to let something like that bring us down, especially MaTT.

We moved out of Bella’s room, to the living room. By now her crazy ex was calling frequently. She had just shown us a dictionary she’d found on her dad’s bookshelf. Inside it was a lockbox. She’d stolen his keys once, and said it had handcuffs inside. I was uncomfortable. Her boyfriend called again. I asked for the phone. Putting on my best gruff voice, I answered.

Hello?

Where’s Bella?

And who may I ask is calling?

It’s Sean, her boyfriend?

Who did you want again?

Bella! My Girlfriend!

Oh, umm, is she the redhead? One sec, she’s not really in a situation to talk.

What do you mean? This is her phone!

I mean, she’s not really dressed for it.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Listen, we’re at a party, she’s all tied up. Figuratively, and I believe literally.

Are you fucking my girlfriend? I’ll fucking kill you!

Bella grabs the phone and hangs up. Everyone cracks up. He calls back and the process repeats itself. After an hour, everyone had gotten to talk to him, and the fictious party had at least 15 individuals. He was pissed when Bella finally told him to call back tomorrow, but he stopped calling. We left back to Jamal’s and Jim and Bella went their own way. I found out on the way to Jamal’s that they were getting a $60 sack of cocaine, enough for all of us, if we only did a little. We also found that Mike was coming, which we were happy about.

We got to Jamals, and hung out for a while, and soon Bella and Jim got there. they had the coke, but Mike hadn’t arrived. Being the nice people we are, we decided to start without him. Bella did hers first, then Jim, as MaTT was going down to snort his, I told them to cut me in, and they oured more out and cut them for me. Big lines, bigger than I do now. I looked at them nervously, and bent down towards the mirror with a cut section of straw in hand. Snort. Snort.

The initial feeling was of raw energy and euphoria, I wanted to talk, to move. It was beautiful. At first I snuggled between MaTT and Bella feeling very happy and loving the hightened sense of touch. The stillness was too much for me, and I demanded we go out side. Everyone agreed, and upon exiting Bella lit a cigarette, and everyone sat down. I, however, began to walk in circles. The others critiqued my circled, so they degenerated into octogons, which were very fun as well. Around this time Mike came, and we went back inside to do more.

Mike got extra lines because he’d been gone earlier, but everyone else got about 1 and a half. It was then decided that we needed to go to Safeway to grab some drinks and snacks. The drive there was great, I went with Mike and moved with the music in his backseat. At Safeway I got a pack of gum and a redbull, and a slice of cake for Jim, it was just after his birthday, plus he likes cake. As I checked out, the cashier, a cool looking Hispanic kid looked at my gum and said, man I’d have just stole this. I couldn’t think of a good reply, so I just laughed, agreed, paid, and danced my way out of the store. I gave Jim his cake and he ate it. I also mentioned the cashier to Bella and Mike, who decided that it was an ideal oppertunity to get some liquor. They decided on Vodka, and bought it no problem., having to tip slightly more than they’d have liked.

I hammered back the redbull, and snorted a little, to dislodge the coke stuck in my nose hair. The combination, a ‘Redball’ was intense. I immediatly get a second trip and I was so active and excitable on the trip back it was almost humorous. We got back, and hing out in Jamal’s room talking and passing the vodka around. I didn’t realize how drunk I was getting because the coke held off the effects.

Jim and Bella were in Jamal’s bed together, until he kicked them out. They protested, but eventually got out and went back to Bella’s place. I was disgusted. I love Jim as a friend but the guy has awful taste in women. They fucked all night. That’s their story. Mine wasn’t done yet. I had some more vodka, and we put on Monsters Inc. We were watching it when I started coming down. Hard. I was coming straight from a stimulant euphoria, into a depressant slump. I sat in the corner, but paranoia had set in. Every shadow was something moving, and it wouldn’t stop. MaTT noticed, and comforted me. It helped. He was a godsend.

I eventually fell into a restless sleep.

I woke up and went home. I had a box lacrosse game that day. I played like a maniac and we won easily. Later I was bored, so I called a particularly desperate ex and picked her up. She bitched about how I shouldn’t do drugs and how I’d die. She sucked me off then bitched more. Then I went to the record store and got a CD.

All-in-all, a good weekend.

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